New Filled With Nostalgia

2025 brought lots of newness into our life. One of which was moving into our new home, in a new area of London, and adopting a fully suburban life.

The landscape of this area is characteristically hilly, and there are leafy residential roads all around. Our house is located near the top of one of the hills, and the drive home overlooks a valley full of oaks & beeches, dotted with many good-looking houses that have generous rear gardens and deep driveways. We often go down a slope and climb up another just to meet local friends! The views from upper-floor windows of most houses must be spectacular no matter the direction. Naturally, it’s been a big change from what we were used to seeing around us for over two decades – tall apartment buildings, taller offices, hustle-bustle of people, noise of cars & sirens, and just the busyness of a city life. And to suddenly have birds chirp at me in the mornings, squirrels come in to say hello or have a neighbourhood fox visit our garden – it’s a huge visual adjustment that we hadn’t fully anticipated, honestly!

That said, the biggest change of the past year has been to get our son to start nursery. And this adjustment was an emotional rollercoaster. The timing of it couldn’t have been any more challenging and overwhelming. We got him to start roughly two weeks after we moved in to the new place. It is heartbreaking no matter the age they start nursery at, and no amount of preparation can stop the tears on day 1 (or 2 or 3…).

Well, it was tough I won’t lie. I will borrow the famous words of Michael Rosen (author of the book We Are Going on a Bear Hunt): “We can’t go over it. We can’t go under it. Oh no! We’ve got to go through it!” to say, we have somewhat got through the tough part, I think. Maybe.

A part of the whole nursery drop-off / pick-up experience was (still is) doing the up-down on the slopes around here. His nursery is located down the hill from us; most times it’s a car ride doing the work but sometimes it is a walk too. It’s a steep gradient for a kid to walk, and so far he’s shown no qualms about it – he enjoys the slow walk every few days, notices the new flowers and changing colours of leaves on the way, picks up small stones for his ongoing collection and mostly talks about which route he’d prefer to take on his way back (because let’s be honest, coming back home is the most exciting part about going to nursery after all).

And so, besides the visual and emotional adjustments, there was this aspect of a physical adjustment with this new place. The walk to-fro train station is roughly 18mins now, along a slope-y road; the nursery-runs offer a good cardio on a 15-degree incline every few days; and of course the visits to the parks & huge playgrounds add to the joy of movement with an active 3yo in tow.

All of this brings me to a conversation with Amma, one evening, when I was discussing (ok, sighing!) about how this new life is so new in so many ways. And she was rather surprised when I explained all of the above towards what I meant by “new”. She smiled, and said, to the contrary, all this reminded her entirely of how and where I spent the first few years of my life!

And just like that, scenes from my childhood played slowly in front of my eyes like a film on a reel.

We lived in this little township in the interiors of an eastern state in India. The place sat in the lap of the dense & hilly Saranda Forest that covers the regional belt, rich in iron ore and other minerals. Our surroundings were made up of tall Sal trees, and others like Mahua and Jamun. I used to cross a hillock to go school every day, because taking the ‘pukka’ road meant a longer but boring walk. Going up and down the township slopes was how we kids played, in fact it was how we went anywhere at all – be it to the shops or friends’ homes. Elephants were a common sighting given the jungles were near by, but foxes at night were a common, albeit scary, sight too!

With a sudden rush of emotions, I realised all this newness around me had been washed over with paints of utter nostalgia! I was also marvelling at my own forgetfulness of how I never put this together myself. I should have seen the similarities. I lived in those hills once as a carefree kid, and now perhaps as a mum I was too close, too occupied, and too lost in my world, scrambling from one day to another, to really see any of it.

It definitely felt like a full circle moment – to be building a life in a little corner of London that resembles a life I led over three decades ago in another part of the world!

So, this is what I want to leave you with – my twopence worth: sometimes we need to zoom out a little to be able to make sense of the patterns (we are making) that are impossible to see when we’re standing too close. And the process might bring what truly matters back into focus: that life is often less about finding new answers and more about rediscovering the ones we’ve been carrying with us all along.

from Toddlerhood to Parenthood

I am reading about toddler behaviour patterns on a website dedicated to introducing food to kids, and it talks about how after turning 1, babies quickly transition into the toddler age group, develop a host of new skills, and are brimming with big ideas all the time!

It said, “Imagine you have a big idea but no words to describe it, or you are thirsty but don’t know how to ask for water—this is a toddler’s life every day, and it’s incredibly frustrating for them. It’s frustrating to have big ideas, big feelings, and big needs but limited language to express them.”

While this may not be entirely true about Kannalu; he’s far more expressive and clearer in his expression for a large number of things, I find myself thinking about me for a second there reading these lines.

I get big feelings, big emotions too and I behave exactly like they describe. I find myself at a loss for words, my language gets limited and I am barely able to express when feeling those big feelings, and turn into a big ball of tears, sometimes in frustration.

It’s an aha moment – I’m still a toddler, toddling through life!

And then I think about myself as a parent to a toddler and how empathetic I should be towards Kannalu when he is dealing with his big feelings, big ideas! Immediately, I promise myself that I will display even more patience towards him from the very next second.

[Context: Right this moment, as I type this, I have barely any space on the bed, given the various angles Kannalu’s body is making across the bed – but patient I shall be!]

And then, I think of Amma Nanna – as parents to my toddler self; and I’m filled with such empathy and an overwhelming sense of gratitude towards them – for putting up with my big feelings all through these years, with such loving patience!

“Kya hua bolo” rings in my ears in Amma’s voice, or “arrey Ramya Garu” in Nanna’s voice, while I would to try to find words to say whatever it is that I was feeling.

Life has come a full circle, it feels!

I go back to completing the article, Kannalu’s arm almost in my face and I’m struggling to keep my eyes open.

But in the next second, I sit up as this is one of those rare times when I manage to catch the words as they pop inside my head to describe the big feelings I felt just now, and fervently type them out, lest they disappear behind the well of tears I sense rising inside.

“I must tell Amma Nanna this feeling I’m feeling…” and a sense of relief seeps in as I’m done typing. Phew! That was close.

Maybe one day, I will also tell Kannalu about all this toddling business of mine. Until then though, I decide there’ll only be one toddler between the two of us 🤍

That Christmas-y Feeling

As Christmas approaches, I am reminded of childhood days I spent in the wonderful city Calcutta. Every year, unfailingly.

It’s where I was introduced to the festival for the first time. We had moved to the big city a few months before I turned 10. Soon, Christmas was upon us and my parents made a number of plans for us to spend the holiday time frolicking around the city’s pockets that celebrated this festival with much fanfare.

I’m reminded of the beautifully decorated streets, lit with sparkly balls and colourful stars. They would adorn the buildings all around in areas like Park Street and Esplanade. We lived far from these areas, but that was the most fun part actually. The tram lines connected us to these places and we would jump on for a joy ride through the busy & bustling alleys of the city, observing the slow unravelling of the celebrations!

There were more than a fair share of street-sellers on this day, calling out at us to buy balloons, whistles, decoration items, small plastic toys and what not. I’d go for a couple of balloons for sure. But, we always headed out there for one reason, and one reason alone!

We would make our way through the crowd to a shop named Kathleen Confectioners – one of the best places in the city to get creamy (dreamy!), rich, most delicious cakes and pastries! And, Christmas would be our time for a treat at this wonderful (and heavily crowded!) place.

I read somewhere that Christmas is really a state of mind. It’s not only about the treats and presents we got, but also about creating a loving and warm atmosphere! And, my parents did exactly that! They helped us create wonderful memories of spending quality time together, amidst all the hustle-bustle of the city.

So, as the Christmas Day 2018 unfolded for us, we spent it connecting with loved ones, and (re)creating some of those memories! I hope yours was as joyful too!

Merry Christmas!

What’s New This Summer?

Summers are a promise of activity, cheer and adventure. It is that beautiful time of the year when everything around us is in full bloom – be it the gardens, or the massive sales in the mall. As the bright sunshine sprawls all around, refrigerators are stocked with bottles of juices, ciders and white wines. All the parks look greener than ever before, and are dotted with people soaking up the sun, walking their dogs, or just playing with kids – the colourful sights we don’t get tired of! Picnics with friends and prolonged outdoorsy evenings crawl back into our routine; all those stylish dresses, skirts and tops make a much awaited come back and suddenly, days seem so full of possibility! I wouldn’t be exaggerating if I said people seem happier in summer – they actually are!

thumb_IMG_4088_1024
August sun shining on Lake Windermere!

That’s how the last three English summers have been for me. And, in all honesty, all of this wonderfulness lasts about two weeks every year. Maybe three, if you can put up with the downpour during the third week, without a scowl.

In my tropical mind, it is not summer if I am wearing a coat to work, or walking to Waitrose with my umbrella receiving some pitter-patter! Unless I spend at least two months sweating it out, drinking copious amounts of Rooh Afza and gulping down scores of mango pieces after every meal, it does not qualify as a well-lived summer. As a kid, the summer season was synonymous with vacation time with family, and that meant long train journeys to Granny’s towns. Splitting our time between the paternal and maternal sides of my family, these vacations were all about reconnecting with parts of me scattered in many places, within the lives of so many. The emphasis also used to be on learning something new each year. From learning to sow, to making own paper envelopes, to writing letters, to learning to recite morning prayers in Sanskrit, to mastering the game of Brainvita and Solitaire! A new skill, something exciting, and spending time with people to create fond memories of, perhaps to look back upon on a day like this.

I am sitting in my balcony having the last bite of what was a delicious Coffee & Walnut flavoured cake that I bought from Waitrose. I almost want to keep this post aside and look for its exact recipe online – it was that yum! A light breeze ruffles my hair, and I get back to thinking about summers in India. While I don’t particularly miss the scorching heat that envelopes my country during these months, I have definitely missed doing something new, as the season swung by year after year.

So, this summer I decided to bring into our home six little and lovely living beings. (That’s how my brother framed their arrival!). Having never been an animal lover, I inclined myself towards flora and picked some hardy flowering plants (from http://www.PatchPlants.com – check it out if you’re looking for a great service to plants in London!), an ornamental citrus fruit tree and to give my English home a touch of traditional India, a pot of basil leaves too! I wish I had a huge courtyard to place it in the middle of, but I make do with our 7th floor balcony for now.

It feels good! To stand in the sun with them, smiling and happy. Just how India Knight put it, ‘when the sun is out, it’s the smallest adventures that can bring the greatest pleasure.’

SAMSUNG CSC
Osteospermums pose for a happy picture!

 

 

PHOTO: #ThrowbackThursday To Conventional Holidays!

Summer of ’09 was special for two reasons: I got the best hairstyle that I have ever had in my life, and my family, on the whim of my younger brother, decided to take a vacation!

Kuala Lumpur is a popular holiday destination; throw in Singapore for a few days in between, it is unbeatable! And that’s exactly how we planned it. We got ourselves a packaged tour. Itinerary prepared, accommodation and food taken care of.  And we stuck to the schedule! Stopped at all the tourist spots, took in all the history, read all the information-tablets, soaked in the sun where possible, tasted some yumm food and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves!

As it sounds, our time in Kuala Lumpur was quite contrary to the popular norm of ‘exploring the unexplored’ & the self-organised unconventional vacation(s) of these days. And it was perfect that way! Sometimes, when you want to spend quality leisure time with loved ones, you don’t want to be invested in the grander picture of how well you experienced your destination. The simply joys lie in how much laughter did you pack together, how many more happy memories did you create, and just how much fun you had in each other’s company, doing the very conventional of things!

Our 10-day trip to Kuala Lumpur & Singapore was exactly about all that. And, today’s #throwbackthursday post is to some of the choicest moments of our wonderful time there!

All Smiles

DSC08443

***

Have you been on conventional tour packages? Were they fun?

***