I am reading about toddler behaviour patterns on a website dedicated to introducing food to kids, and it talks about how after turning 1, babies quickly transition into the toddler age group, develop a host of new skills, and are brimming with big ideas all the time!
It said, “Imagine you have a big idea but no words to describe it, or you are thirsty but don’t know how to ask for water—this is a toddler’s life every day, and it’s incredibly frustrating for them. It’s frustrating to have big ideas, big feelings, and big needs but limited language to express them.”
While this may not be entirely true about Kannalu; he’s far more expressive and clearer in his expression for a large number of things, I find myself thinking about me for a second there reading these lines.
I get big feelings, big emotions too and I behave exactly like they describe. I find myself at a loss for words, my language gets limited and I am barely able to express when feeling those big feelings, and turn into a big ball of tears, sometimes in frustration.
It’s an aha moment – I’m still a toddler, toddling through life!
And then I think about myself as a parent to a toddler and how empathetic I should be towards Kannalu when he is dealing with his big feelings, big ideas! Immediately, I promise myself that I will display even more patience towards him from the very next second.
[Context: Right this moment, as I type this, I have barely any space on the bed, given the various angles Kannalu’s body is making across the bed – but patient I shall be!]
And then, I think of Amma Nanna – as parents to my toddler self; and I’m filled with such empathy and an overwhelming sense of gratitude towards them – for putting up with my big feelings all through these years, with such loving patience!
“Kya hua bolo” rings in my ears in Amma’s voice, or “arrey Ramya Garu” in Nanna’s voice, while I would to try to find words to say whatever it is that I was feeling.
Life has come a full circle, it feels!
I go back to completing the article, Kannalu’s arm almost in my face and I’m struggling to keep my eyes open.
But in the next second, I sit up as this is one of those rare times when I manage to catch the words as they pop inside my head to describe the big feelings I felt just now, and fervently type them out, lest they disappear behind the well of tears I sense rising inside.
“I must tell Amma Nanna this feeling I’m feeling…” and a sense of relief seeps in as I’m done typing. Phew! That was close.
Maybe one day, I will also tell Kannalu about all this toddling business of mine. Until then though, I decide there’ll only be one toddler between the two of us 🤍
The152Girl 