Category Archives: Life

from Toddlerhood to Parenthood

I am reading about toddler behaviour patterns on a website dedicated to introducing food to kids, and it talks about how after turning 1, babies quickly transition into the toddler age group, develop a host of new skills, and are brimming with big ideas all the time!

It said, “Imagine you have a big idea but no words to describe it, or you are thirsty but don’t know how to ask for water—this is a toddler’s life every day, and it’s incredibly frustrating for them. It’s frustrating to have big ideas, big feelings, and big needs but limited language to express them.”

While this may not be entirely true about Kannalu; he’s far more expressive and clearer in his expression for a large number of things, I find myself thinking about me for a second there reading these lines.

I get big feelings, big emotions too and I behave exactly like they describe. I find myself at a loss for words, my language gets limited and I am barely able to express when feeling those big feelings, and turn into a big ball of tears, sometimes in frustration.

It’s an aha moment – I’m still a toddler, toddling through life!

And then I think about myself as a parent to a toddler and how empathetic I should be towards Kannalu when he is dealing with his big feelings, big ideas! Immediately, I promise myself that I will display even more patience towards him from the very next second.

[Context: Right this moment, as I type this, I have barely any space on the bed, given the various angles Kannalu’s body is making across the bed – but patient I shall be!]

And then, I think of Amma Nanna – as parents to my toddler self; and I’m filled with such empathy and an overwhelming sense of gratitude towards them – for putting up with my big feelings all through these years, with such loving patience!

“Kya hua bolo” rings in my ears in Amma’s voice, or “arrey Ramya Garu” in Nanna’s voice, while I would to try to find words to say whatever it is that I was feeling.

Life has come a full circle, it feels!

I go back to completing the article, Kannalu’s arm almost in my face and I’m struggling to keep my eyes open.

But in the next second, I sit up as this is one of those rare times when I manage to catch the words as they pop inside my head to describe the big feelings I felt just now, and fervently type them out, lest they disappear behind the well of tears I sense rising inside.

“I must tell Amma Nanna this feeling I’m feeling…” and a sense of relief seeps in as I’m done typing. Phew! That was close.

Maybe one day, I will also tell Kannalu about all this toddling business of mine. Until then though, I decide there’ll only be one toddler between the two of us 🤍

A Night To Remember

We decided to break away the home routine and organized a little date night for ourselves this Saturday night. I put on a nice dress, some lipstick; the boy combed his hair all slick 😍, and we joined for a bottle of wine at our very own dining table! 🍷

The change of pace helped take our mind off the slowness that has crept into our lives, these days. While initially we couldn’t not talk about the only hot topic around us, the wine and some Italian jazz playlist randomly found on Youtube playing in background allowed our conversation to drift towards old books, childhood stories, travel memories and so on – all those lovely things of the past.

As we stuffed ourselves with fine pizza and more wine, I began to realize that when the future looks this uncertain, it’s nice to look towards the past, relive the good times and perhaps reiterate to ourselves that “this too shall pass”.

And while we are here, I must add that the only big drawback of a date night at the dining table is having to do the dishes afterwards 🙈.

Creating Memories!

Should we try rebooting?

Reboot, restart, re-plug, reconsider, re-think, redo, re-prioritize our collective life choices?

Should we?

Order Ordeal

The dish that is a figment of my imagination, that I’m yet to discover, that I call *something interesting*, that’s almost never on any menu! #FoodOrdeal

That Christmas-y Feeling

As Christmas approaches, I am reminded of childhood days I spent in the wonderful city Calcutta. Every year, unfailingly.

It’s where I was introduced to the festival for the first time. We had moved to the big city a few months before I turned 10. Soon, Christmas was upon us and my parents made a number of plans for us to spend the holiday time frolicking around the city’s pockets that celebrated this festival with much fanfare.

I’m reminded of the beautifully decorated streets, lit with sparkly balls and colourful stars. They would adorn the buildings all around in areas like Park Street and Esplanade. We lived far from these areas, but that was the most fun part actually. The tram lines connected us to these places and we would jump on for a joy ride through the busy & bustling alleys of the city, observing the slow unravelling of the celebrations!

There were more than a fair share of street-sellers on this day, calling out at us to buy balloons, whistles, decoration items, small plastic toys and what not. I’d go for a couple of balloons for sure. But, we always headed out there for one reason, and one reason alone!

We would make our way through the crowd to a shop named Kathleen Confectioners – one of the best places in the city to get creamy (dreamy!), rich, most delicious cakes and pastries! And, Christmas would be our time for a treat at this wonderful (and heavily crowded!) place.

I read somewhere that Christmas is really a state of mind. It’s not only about the treats and presents we got, but also about creating a loving and warm atmosphere! And, my parents did exactly that! They helped us create wonderful memories of spending quality time together, amidst all the hustle-bustle of the city.

So, as the Christmas Day 2018 unfolded for us, we spent it connecting with loved ones, and (re)creating some of those memories! I hope yours was as joyful too!

Merry Christmas!